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What is grooming?

Grooming is a form of abuse that involves manipulating someone until they’re isolated, dependent, and more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.

There are many reasons why someone might groom a vulnerable adult. Some cases of grooming result in:

  • Financial abuse. The groomer’s motivation is clear – financial or material gain.
  • Sexual abuse. The groomer is benefiting out of this arrangement.
  • Radicalisation. The groomer is simply working to convert someone over to their cause.

But in some cases of grooming, it might be difficult to identify a motive. Unfortunately, some people enjoy having power over others.

Recognising grooming
Here are some of the signs of grooming you should look out for. The person may become:

  • Withdrawn. 
  • Troubled by something but unwilling to talk about it.
  • Emotionally volatile.

You may also notice them:

  • Using or wearing something new that is unusual for them.
  • Becoming reluctant to see you.
  • Refusing a visit. It might be because someone’s manipulating them.

You may notice that sums of money have disappeared from the person’s bank account, or the person claims they cannot pay for food or bills. The person might be spending more time on the phone or online than usual, but they won’t tell you what sites they’re visiting or who they’re talking to.
They start talking about a new “friend”, “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. It’s not clear who they are or how they met them.

What to do if you suspect grooming is happening

The victims of grooming often think they do not need help. Some instances of grooming have all the appearance of authentic romances, relationships or friendships, until it’s too late. If you have reached out to the person and they are not willing to accept your help, you could try contacting their close family members or close friends. They might be able to persuade them to get help. If you are very concerned and cannot persuade the person to talk to you or someone else, you could consider reporting your suspicions to social services or the police in order to keep them safe.